I love listening to the radio on the way to work. I love listening to music anywhere actually. I’m a channel flipper, a dancer and an American Idol finalist when I’m in my car. This is a great release for me, however, for my kids, it’s an embarrassment. Music was always a big part of my life growing up and is in my adult life as well. I find myself liking many genres of music. If I had to pick my favorite type, it would definitely be hip-hop. Old school, new school and everything in between. Anyhow, I was eager to write this post because on the way to work I heard a song that triggered a memory . I have many memories associated with different songs, lyrics, and musicians.
Growing up, I only listened to country music. My dad was in charge of the radio. That’s just the way it was. Eventually, when I was able to have a radio in my room, I explored all the local channels and loved dissecting the lyrics. Thank goodness the booklets came with the albums because I botched the song singing lyrics that weren’t even close to the real ones. I will admit, I was wrong about 80% of the time. I started reading the lyrics, looking up words to find their meanings, and eventually writing some of my own songs. Little did I know, this was a form of THERAPY to me. Music was my escape and my safe place. I felt the music was just for me and some songs spoke straight to my heart.
While growing up, I dealt with trauma in many forms. I witnessed things a kid should never see. I was a victim to acts that should never occur and I experienced a large number of events where I felt abandoned. Music never abandoned me. It was always there for me. I could pick a song to meet my need at that time and those lyrics were powerful. I remember thinking, “This is exactly how I feel right now!” I loved music! I LOVE music!
Back to the memory, one night, there was a bad thunderstorm. The thunder startled me and woke me up. I was scared to the core. I could only think of waking up my brother, Jimmy. I asked him if I could sleep in his room. I set my pillow and blanket down on his blue shag carpet and he educated me on storms to ease my anxiety. Then, he started asking me questions about music, lyrics, bands and songs. He was “quizzing” me on what I thought Paula Abdul was saying in her current hit song. Of course, I was wrong. Jimmy was quick to laugh and before I knew it, I was asleep. When my brother died, he left me his collection of CD’s and Paula Abdul’s CD is one I listen to many times.
Driving in to work, I was on an “oldies” station (sigh), and I heard Paula Abdul singing “our” song. It made me smile. It could have made me sad, recalling this memory, realizing my brother has passed and we wouldn’t have any more of those moments. But, it didn’t. I smiled and sang my heart out!!! I became America’s Idol this morning and made it to work without embarrassing anyone. Although, to be honest, I still sang some of the lyrics wrong.
After the song was over, I was enlightened. An overwhelming feeling filled my soul and warmed my body. I haven’t been afraid of a storm since that night I laid on that blue shag carpet way back when. Maybe the music and Jimmy were my therapy.
Find your therapy! You don’t have to just have one!